New bands: The Branded

by Modculture 23 January, 2008

Thebranded

Malmö may not make you think of snotty fuzz, as Sweden is generally more famous for the likes of Ace of Base, but if you ask The Branded who the hell Ace of Base are, they just shrug, snigger and whack you ’round the head with a big simple fist. This is my kinda grooop.

The Branded have studied their garage well. They don’t ever eat. Just listen to records by The Yardbirds, Count Five and The Sonics. They don’t do anything else. This has left them gaunt and slightly cabbaged. Thankfully, this state of ill repair has produced a back pocket full of great singles that strut like a damaged peacock. You gotta love that huh?

The Branded (called so because when they were born, they lit up cigarettes and burned themselves as their newly born little fingers were still full of amniotic fluid and couldn’t keep a good hold on Satan’s weed) have got a new 45 out by the name of You Got The Hurt. …Hurt is an up-tempo stomper with fuzz and distorto vox talkin’ about some gal who done ’em wrong. Why is it that every girl in the world wants to hurt garage’s finest? Maybe "they’ll see the light"? Or maybe they’ll carry on being bozos and as a result, The Branded will keep peddlin’ dejected sleazy rhythm ‘n’ booze?

If being down brings tunes like the flipside, I Can’t Stand It, then boy, looking through the back pages, happiness brings things like Mull of Kintyre. I know where I’m-a headin’. It’s depression all the way baboid! I Can’t Stand It has long black hair… and hell… probably has a really long car that spits out acrid plumes that choke all who have "tried to make a fooooool of meeee".

You maybe thinking that this review has told you nuthin’. You’re wrong. If you’re the kind of knucklehead that loves tails of rejection via fuzz, then this 45 needs a home and a hug from a like mind. Buy this, place it next to your 45s by The Sonics. They may not know each other yet, but they’ll get along just fine.

The record is out Feb1st and available to order from Dirty Water Records. If you’re not ready to buy without tryin’, click here to visit their MySpace page.

Mof Gimmers (Electric Roulette)

  • Great review! Hilarious. Definitely made me want to hear them, so I’m listening to them on MySpace now. Thanks!